It has been a rough week for me. As you can tell by my posts I have been extremely depressed. I am doing my best to do what I can to feel better. Having my blog to work on really helps to keep my mind off of other things.
I am finding that there are certain triggers. I did not realize before how much some of these triggers affect me. Currently I am in the midst of trying to discover my purpose and the one trigger, which is a person, has thrown me off course. This person and I are friends but it is extremely complicated. My friend means a lot to me but has said some things to me that really have me confused. I cannot and will not go into details because of privacy issues. My head is spinning because my friend will not clarify what they are trying to tell me. This makes it extremely hard and extremely emotional for me. I would like to do all I can to keep my friend happy but this person needs to realize that they are putting me in emotional distress.
Feeling the way I do makes my whole life complicated. I am not sure at this time where I want my life to go. I feel as though I have not left a mark on this world like I want to and that hurts me. My goal in life right now is to help others but also take care of myself. Self- care is crucial with depression.
Right now I am taking it day by day. That is all I know to do. I need to take care of things that need my attention and make sure I have my priorities straight. I have let my friend flood my thoughts and that has made it hard to concentrate on anything else. No other person should have such power over me. I should not let them either and in this case I did and it really hurt the progress I was making.