Thanks! I love you.
This is something I said to my best friend when she told me “We will figure this out.”
It is important to have a good friend that you can count on. With my best friend,Mindy I have that. She is probably one of the toughest women I have ever known. She has seen me at my worst. I am still waiting for my best.
At a tough part in my life, I do not know who I am or what my purpose is. For the longest time I was my children’s mother. Now that they are older I am still their mother but I do not feel as needed. My husband and I do not seem as close as we once were and I just feel as if I am not needed like before.
Some of my family in past years have deserted me. The reason being I got upset and said some things because I was hurt. I wish I could take it back. I cannot. Apologies were not accepted even though I tried. Too many hurtful words said.
It is hard. I have family members, like my mother, who have passed away and I grieve her loss but there is nothing like grieving the loss of a loved one that is still on Earth. Someone with whom I have a lot of great memories but this one bump in the road ruined all of it.
One thing I have done in my life is love. Often times I have loved the wrong people. I guess I am one of those people who tries to see the best in everyone and overlook their faults. This has got me hurt several times in several different ways. I was always a people pleaser, I wanted people to like me. It made me feel better. Having low self esteem will do that to a person. It was being put down for much of my life for not being the same as others my age and gender that really affected me. Being compared to others I had nothing in common with was hurtful. All of these judgements came from people in my family that were supposed to love me unconditionally. I am not the same as everyone else, I am me.
I have also trusted the wrong people and believed in the wrong people and always chose to see the best in others. I would not judge anyone by what another had said about them. That proved to be a mistake. At least in a few instances. One in particular broke my heart to the point I feel it is beyond repair. I do not know how to get through this most recent heartbreak, This is why my best friend said we will figure this out.
Having my best friend has literally saved my life. She is the words of wisdom and reason when I need them most. She has my back and I appreciate her more everyday.