I was once told by a wise old priest that depression is anger that a person has not let go of. When you think of it that makes a lot of sense. If you hold onto the things that have hurt you they will continue to hurt you. My problem is I do not know how to let go.
I know that I have held on to a lot of things that have hurt me. The key for me is finding out how to let go of these and other things I may hear that hurt me. Last night I realized first hand what the priest meant. I could feel the anger I had inside of me from something someone said just building up and making me sad. I was so mad I started crying. Just then it clicked with me what I heard from the priest years ago. I could literally feel it happening. I was falling into a depressed state over something that had me angry. My problem is , how do I let go of this and other things?
First. I decided to do is validate the reason I am angry. Is it really worth it? Is it worth the valuable time and energy it takes out of me to be upset about it? With yesterday’s situation I have to say no. what I heard was not really worth a response like being that angry. It was more something I should have laughed off because it was just that stupid and outrageous.
Second. Where did you get your information from that made you angry. My information came from a friend that is honest about things. I guess it hurt and was embarrassment of her having her tell me what others were saying about me. I just considered the source where she heard the information and decided it just was not worth it.
Third. What is the truth? I knew what was said about me was not the truth. Why was I letting it get me so bent out of shape. Again, I think it was the embarrassment of the situation. Although it was not true it hurt my feelings. I also think the source of the hurt got to me. I thought these people were my friends. It hurts more when it is someone that hurts you and they are supposed to be a friend.
Life lessons can be extremely hard. Yesterday learning how my anger was feeding into my depression was a eye opening for me. I am finding out in this world to keep my circle of trust extremely small. Not everyone who smiles is your friend. Some people are just out to cause drama. I really do not need that with the things I deal with on a daily basis.
I found I am going to be more selective who who I choose to talk to.